Does Size Does Matter ? (My First Crush)

Okay. The "does size matter" was sort of a tease. This doesn't have anything to do with cock.  But, maybe, in a way, it does answer the question.

Football season has started. I just recently saw something having to do with Penn State.  Penn State happens to trigger the memories of my first real grown up crush.  This was after my first serious boyfriend/fiancee and agreed to mutually break up....it had just sort of lost it's steam.  It was summer and I was approved for an internship with a local police department.  My criminalistics instructor had suggested to me that I look into an internship to get an idea what the work was like as he thought I had what it took to be a homicide investigator after I accepted his dare and ordered AND ate a pepperoni pizza during the night we spent two hours going through the blunt force trauma photos.

Anyway. There I was.  I was meeting my "mentor" for the summer. In retrospect, a few people did sort of try to warn me but there really isn't any good way to prepare for it so they let me walk into it cold.  Or maybe (as I was to come to find out over the course of the summer) they just thought it would be funny to see how I reacted.  You see, my mentor was normal in all ways except for his face.  Many years before he had been badly beaten in the line of duty and the entire left side of his skull caved in by the steel toe boot on his attacker.  He looked, honestly, scary as hell. The right side of his face, in profile, looked completely normal, but when he turned it to look at you straight on or show you his left profile, he was a monster.  His face was covered with horrible scars and while they had tried their best to rebuild it's structure...they didn't quite manage. He was seriously deformed.  We are talking Night of the Living Dead deformed. 

I recall being shocked but then curious but then we started up right away as he had just caught the call of a woman who had been raped so we had to head out.  I spent four months working with him.  He was amazing. He was intelligent, compassionate, tough, clever, funny, and serious.  He jogged and he carried around a tiny igloo cooler where he kept yogurt and a bag of blueberries to snack on during the day.  We worked one HUGE case together in the beginning that was so famous it was on the national news.  I won't go into detail on which one, it matters not, but I still recall him coming into the file room where I was pulling mug shots for a photo lineup for another case we were working and told me the victim had finally died and we had to to to the autopsy. 

By the end of the summer, I had the biggest hugest most ridiculous school girl crush on this man.  I was totally 100% head over heels in love with him. Infatuated. Dreaming about how he might kiss me or take me to dinner or fall in love with me after my internship was over.  His face still looked the same but I sort of stopped noticing it really.  It was just part of him and I really liked HIM so it didn't really matter.

So. Did anything happen?  No. He was also way older then me, happily married to a wonderful woman and had a gorgeous family.  I would have never attempted anything first and foremost because it would be horribly unprofessional but also because it would just be inappropriate to try to steal a happily married man from his wife and children.  But I so did spend every night as I feel asleep fantasizing about what if....

Not all women want a man with a fancy car or a huge bank account or even with an entire face.  There do exist women who can fall in love with a man for his mind, his charisma, his humor, his intelligence, and his soul.  Sure, looks don't always hurt but they are not the be all, end all either. 

I am not sure why I wrote this other then the fact that I haven't thought about him in years.  But I saw the Penn State sticker and a rush of nostalgia flooded me. Sweet memories of being a young kid with a school girl crush on her mentor, the Monster.

If he is out there now and stumbles on this, he will know exactly who he is.  Thought he might like to know I still think about him and hope he is doing well. And that he still is in the top five of the sexiest men I have ever known.