Training consists of:
1. Posting on my blog each day what I did either as part of a larger post or just one sentence on it's own. Psychological accountability.
2. Set the alarm two hours earlier in the morning so I can get up and run in the coolness of predawn. Bonus: P decided she was coming with me each morning so I have a buddy.
3. Recommitted to my nutrition. Not too hard because I haven't been too bad for the most part but really trying to tighten it up to be even better.
My week looks like this:
Sunday: Swim and either run or ride that part of the tri course.
Monday: AM run, PM lift with Awesome
Tuesday: AM run
Wednesday: AM run
Thursday: AM run
Friday: AM run, PM lift and spin
Saturday: AM run and lift
And now for my wowzer story for tonight:
A month or so ago, I was doing back squats with the big bar plus two ten pound plates and Awesome goes and adds a five pound plate to each side. It psyched me out and I couldn't do it. He made me put the bar back before I even tried one. I hated myself for that so made a promise to myself that next time he put them on I'd do it. And he never did. Until tonight.
He slipped them on after the first set with the tens and I was nervous but I did it. THEN he put two more on and I went ahead and knocked them out before I got afraid. I teared up a little that I did that. Figured he'd stop there. THEN the fucker put TWO more on! WTF Over?
I was totally psyched out looking at the bar with EIGHT plates on it when before tonight the most I'd done was two. He saw it in my face and talked to me calm and gentle. He said he knew I could do it. I had tears rolling down my face.
No. I couldn't. That was too much.
I tried and did a few okay ones but not all the way down like he wanted.
I racked the bar and stood there with tears rolling down my cheeks feeling fat and stupid and incapable. He kept talking. He had NO doubt I could do it. I had every doubt I could. He said we were going to do it again and nail it.
I moved under the bar and stood up until I could feel it across my shoulders. I took a deep breath, tears still rolling down my cheeks, and stood all the way up to unseat the bar from the rack and took a step back, balancing it on my shoulders.
I took another step back until the small medicine ball was centered between my legs. He makes me squat until my butt touches it to make sure I get deep and consistent. He continued his words of encouragement. I took a deep breath and squatted. All the way down until I felt the ball touch my crotch... Then I stood up and let my breath out in a gush as I hit the top. He exclaimed it was perfect and I took another deep breath and did it again. And again and again and again. Perfect each time.
He was so proud. I stepped forward to rack the bar and then ducked my head and started to cry.
I did it.
I was so overwhelmed at that moment.
It made me think of this picture:
I certainly blew my own damn mind tonight.
I'll close with a candid shot of my dinner. Leftover Hummus Crusted Chicken and Salad. Out of a plastic container, overlooking the sink behind the smoothie bar at the gym. I woke up early and ran then lifted tonight and ate properly all day while working and balancing life.
If I can do it, so can you.
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