In Response To Mr. Dinan...

Last April, I wrote this on my Facebook page. I acknowledge that you may not have read every single post I have ever made so you may not possess all of the details I have shared over the years. It's also obvious that you don't read all my posts when you make comments that I sleep around with all the men I talk about. Anyone who reads all my posts knows this is simply not true. This should sum much of it up and I will complete a conclusion to tie it all up at the end. For the record, Thomas reads ALL my Facebook posts and knows MORE about “my men” then most anyone who just reads about my adventures.

  

“Walking down Portabello Road in London with Gay Boyfriend, he commented on how happy I was and made a few observations about me. I replied that I could never be a caged bird again. Thomas says, "A heart shaped cage is still a cage." This is so true. I need to be free. To fly. To feel the sunshine kiss my wings. To glide through moonlight in silence while the stars accent my beauty with their soft glow. To live my life. All men who love me will understand, cherish and nurture this in me.

Not every relationship is a cage. For example, my relationship with Thomas. He allows me my freedom but at the end of a long moonlight flight or a frolic in the meadow or just a night's hunt, he is always there with hot cocoa and warm arms and his kind heart. That he loves me without reservation is what makes our relationship special and nurturing. He would never put me in a cage. Instead, I get a pretty blue velvet pillow in front of the fire and his trust and love. That's what I need for me right now.

In return, though...I don't abuse his love or his kindness. I give BACK to him. I love him. I adore him. I worship him. I treat him like the sun does not rise until his gorgeous steel blue eyes open to the day...I treat him like he is the only sun in my universe and the air that I breathe. We feed each other with love and kindness.... A relationship is not nurturing if there is no reciprocation. That's what I needed to learn from douche bag. I did that for him but there was no return on my investment. He was like a huge black hole of need and want and demanding. Thomas is not a black hole. He is a dazzling star that not only absorbs my energy but feeds it back to me. And I am his sunshine...I consume his fire but then I warm him with it. And if that is not enough to make you want to stick your finger down your throat and barf at the sap then I don't know what is!!!!! LOL :) (Forgive my poetic rants...I am just a young girl in love with life and I tend to drink so fast it trickles down my chin and makes a mess at times....)”

Data points in answer to your questions:

“You're going on dates with a different guy every night while sleeping with someone else.”

Yes. I am. 

“And it seems you wish to bed them all while looking for a steady relationship. Just going by how it looks.”

No. I do not wish to bed them all.  And, if you read the above, that answers your steady relationship part.

“I would not want to date a woman whom after the dinner I pay for ( assuming he paid mind you since you go for old fashioned gentlemen, which is a very good thing ) goes home to another man waiting in your bed....”

Then I highly suggest that you do not date me. Side bar: and, yes. They ALL paid for dinner. All of them.

“Josephine's definition of "dating" is—“

My definition of dating is: an ongoing steady somewhat consistent (with respect to duration and regularity) relationship that involves sexual intimacy.  Based on that definition, I am only dating one man (Thomas) and FWB does not fall into this category as we do not have a regular schedule of dates or frequency of seeing each other. It’s sort of “ad hoc” whenever. I have not slept with ANY of the men I have gone out with this last week.I am now and only have been intimate with Thomas and FWB in the two years since my separation and divorce.

I am a single mother with no child support. I work very hard and I give 110% to my child. This means that I am home with her after work and weekends. I do not have the ability or time to “date”. Each man I meet gets my speech up front:

You will never be as important as my daughter is to me. She will always come first and I may cancel on you at the last minute if she is ill or needs me. She will always come before you. Furthermore, I allow myself one night out a month for me. One. ONE. I take one Saturday night out a month for myself.  So you have to be okay with only seeing me once a month…maybe more often if he can meet me for lunch during the work day or a quick dinner after the gym or a work meeting where I can give him an hour of my smile before I dash home.

Many men want a woman who can be more available, so it makes sense to have more than one man so I can have a rotation of sorts if needed. If I can only go out one night and Guy #1 is busy that ONE night, why should I have to stay home or do nothing? I simply move on to Guy #2. Or 3…or 4. Right now I often go out by myself but it is nice to have someone to go out with every once in a while.  I go over this with each man. French got the same speech last night. And he said, “You are an amazing mother. That is very admirable. I respect that.”  And then he talked to me for EIGHT more hours and wants to go out again a few more times before my daughter returns home from her little vacation and I go back into mom mode and back to one night out a month…

Good men understand. Good fathers “get it”. They respect my role and my decision and I am so wonderful that I am (as Ace puts it)…worth the wait just to hear me call him “sugar” in his ear.

“Yes, the first rule of the Satanic earth is not to give opinion unless asked,…”

Upon close examination, I do not see where I have asked your opinion. YOU, on the other hand, DID ask for an opinion, and it was given.  Furthermore, YOU were the one who kept playing the “stop calling me a child hating monster” card. NO one, including myself EVER called you that. Ever. We gave our opinions after you asked and you did not like what we said so you played the victim card. Whatever.

“…provided that noone else is hurt, right?”

There are no guarantees in horseshoes, war, or love. You want a measurable return on investment of your time and money, buy a blow up doll or hire a prostitute.

I am under NO obligation to fuck a man or enter into a long term relationship because he bought me dinner or spent some time talking to me.  And any man who thinks that I do owe him or gets mad if he doesn’t get “it” …. deserves to be “hurt”.

>>Off topic, yes, but entirely relevant to my right to voice my opinion and/or concern based on what actions have been done to me and again, what has been displayed on my news feed. I said what I said not out of spite, but because if I listened to her bitch about me and to me, why am I criminalized if I open MY mouth? It all started with an opinion. An honest opinion. Leave it alone.<<

This entire statement right here shows that your only agenda here was to “get back at” me.

Epic fail.

The net net of this all is:

I am a grown woman and I only am accountable to me.

I can go out with whoever I want whenever I want, however I want, as many times as I want.  If they don’t like my company or my rules or how I do things, they don’t have to ask me out again. Funny…they don’t seem to mind.

I do not lie to any of the men I go out with.   

I have not told anyone that I want or am looking for a long term, steady or exclusive relationship. As a matter of fact, if you were to look at the last text exchange with Tri Guy, you will see him asking if he was ranked number two or three out of my men (and asking how to get the top slot).

Some women get out of a bad marriage and are so insecure they immediately get right back into a bad relationship with another douche bag because they are afraid to be alone or simply incapable of being alone.

I refuse to feel any sort of obligation to be with anyone other than a man (or men) who please me, please me well, and please me OFTEN.

I am a Goddess to be worshipped and not some woman to be possessed.

That should answer all your questions.