Countdown to Tri....

I was really excited yesterday. Did well in my swim trial (had to get timed swimming the official distance since I didn't have an official time for that distance to swim so I could be ranked). Then I did another run through of the bike portion of the Tri course.

I was proud of myself because:

1. This course is two miles longer but I have shaved TWENTY minutes off of last year's time that was two miles less. 

2. Those who read my Tri report from last year know I had to get off and walk several times but I am SO SO SO proud that I can ride this entire course without having to get off!!!! There are hills in several places but I can do them!!!!

3. I can ride the whole course without having to stop for a rest! (Okay, I do have to pause to drink water but only because I am not coordinated enough to get my bottle out of the cage and drink while riding....almost crashed the few times I tried but it gives me something new to work on for next time).

I was tired yesterday but in a good mood. I was even in a good mood today and worked out so hard with Awesome. We lifted so hard I almost puked! (Yay! My gym peeps will get that :)

Then during the last set of planks I sort of lost it. No idea exactly what... I suddenly just felt the tears come. I know the shrink said that working out would release things and with everything going on recently I guess it shouldn't surprise me. I managed to finish the last set, Awesome gave me warm hugs and encouragement for the Tri then I grabbed my gym bag from the corner and ran walked to the ladies locker room, made a beeline for a stall and promptly hid inside just in time to catch the flood damn burst of tears. Fortunately, I have learned to cry rather silently so no one bothered me by knocking on the door and asking if I was okay. I sat in the stall and cried. Shaking silently and soaking a wadded up handful of paper towels that I managed to grab as I went to the stall.

I sobbed until there was nothing left. And then I sighed, sucked it up, and went out to wash my face. The nice thing about the gym is you can exit the locker room with a red swollen face and fake smile and everyone just praises you on your awesome workout that they had witnessed earlier. You can smile your fake "hey there, yeah, great workout" smile and make a gracious exit with no one the wiser.

Life is still good. Some days are just harder than others.