The Perfect Man

I stumbled across this photo on Pinterest this evening and it made me stop and think. I recently read an article on what they are claiming is a new phenomena: Male Anorexia/Eating Disorders/Body Issues.

The jist of it was that suddenly *insert raised eyebrow here* the movies and telly and magazines were really focusing on showing all these "perfect" hard body sculpted men with just about any excuse to have their shirt off (anyone who watches Pretty Little Liars, tell me you don't wish you had a nickel for every time they show Toby without his shirt on....). And, get this lol, suddenly they were seeing MEN suddenly having these insecurities about THEIR bodies and *gasp* feeling like women won't like them or want them unless they look like the hot celebrities.

Pause....

Now, there was a part of me that laughed. Yes. I know. It's mean but I am being honest. My thought was, "HAH! FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK YOU ASSHOLES FOR DOING THAT TO US FOR YEARS! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T MEASURE UP TO THIS HOLLYWOOD PIMPED PERFECTION!"

And after I had that snarky little what's good for the goose is good for the gander moment, I calmed down, stopped laughing and really felt kind of sorry for the guys. Because, to be really honest, us gals have been dealing with this for a LONG time and are kind of used to it. You guys are pretty new to this so maybe it's kind of a hard pill to swallow when suddenly your wife or girlfriend is drooling and gushing over Eric or Toby or Channing (no real idea who that is but I keep hearing his name on the radio etc) or fill in the blank with the abs du jour.

It does sort of help in a way when, as a woman, I can say that while I certainly do not mind the eye candy, I do not in any way think the way they look makes them a better or a good or even an actually desirable person. It just means they are nice to look at. (Gosh, I sound like a dude now don't I? lol)

But, it's the truth. The picture above is great for me to use as an example because I actually watch the show. I'll tell you right now that I think all the men are attractive in an aesthetic sense. Would I "date" any of them? (Well, I mean the characters they play as I really don't know crap about them as individuals).

The answer is this:

Jason: no way in hell. He is an absolute moron and I am not sure I could spend more than about five minutes talking to him before I'd want to smack him with a chair. If he wants to stand outside shirtless and clean my pool or mow my lawn or perhaps jog by that would be nice but that buck stops there and I have zero zip nada nothing for him. Mah. Nope. He could be buck ass naked in my bedroom right now and it would probably annoy me more than anything. He's also whiny and immature and did I mention not too bright?

Alcide: No. He does nothing for me. His personality is....blah. Oh, sure, he's pretty to look at but honestly he doesn't appear to have much in the brains department either and I have met bags of wet cement with more passion than him. And, no, sexy time or juvenile drama isn't "passion". Most women don't know the difference nor do they care. I do and he could show up naked and I'd maybe let him rub my feet. Because, heck, I'd let an albino Japanese midget with a foot fetish rub my feet if he'd do a good job. I'm not all that picky.

Eric: Oh. My. Yes. BUT...not for the reasons you think. Yes. He is nice looking. But that is NOT what makes him attractive to me. He's tall (I have a tall thing after db....guy has to be taller than me if I am wearing heels but I am pretty damn short so it's not that hard). He is also wicked smart. Strategic. Thoughtful (I don't mean in a bring you flowers way but in a chess playing sort of way). AND he is passionate. Could also be a little of that viking thing in the blood. If he showed up naked in my bedroom I imagine we'd play a game of chess, have an interesting debate about something and then enjoy a passionate physical entanglement of epic proportions. But it's got very little to do with what he looks like and a ton to do with the personality of the character he plays. That all being said, if the actual actor showed up naked whining about some political crap I didn't agree with and showing me he had little to no intelligence or passion and presented himself as 180 degrees the opposite of the character he plays then I'd throw him out on his cute little ass and be done with it.

This revelation was actually important to me because it made me realize that if I think like this, I cannot possibly be the only person who does. AND that it was quite possible that there are men out there that feel the same way about women. Sure...she's hot and pretty but....meh.

None of the men I love are perfect in the looks department. Even Captain Awesome who is a body builder has his little flaws (the poor man's legs are so pasty pale white that it makes my eyes water when he wears shorts), my sweet darling Alpha is getting a middle age paunch (sshhhh please don't tell him I noticed), and the others I love and adore each have their own imperfections but I have to tell you that I love the men they are and this makes those imperfections endearing to me, not unattractive.  I will tell you that the other day when Alpha leaned back in his chair and I noticed his tummy was not flat and smooth and he had a little spill over it made me absolutely giddy. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and snuggle up to his warm sweet self. None of the men in that picture above inspire that sort of feeling in me at all.

I have realized that aesthetic appreciation is not the same thing as love.

I have realized that perfection doesn't necessarily equal beauty.

And, I have realized why I am loved so much by so many including those who have never seen me before.