Seven In The City: My Sabbatical

For those of you not familiar with the concept of “sabbatical”, it essentially is (in the context I am using it): any extended period of leave from one's customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc. (Dictionary.com)

Josephine is taking a sabbatical. This will be my last week posting regularly to Facebook. For a number of reasons, some of which I will go into and some of which are not relevant to you, I will be deleting both my personal vanilla Facebook page as well as Josephine Seven’s Facebook page. If you read my “Tarot” blog post from last month, it might make more sense now as that is the story of how it came about. I have been attempting to tell as many people privately or in person as possible. If I did not have a chance to speak to you like that, please don’t take offense or be hurt, I simply ran out of time to wrap things up that way with each single person.

Originally, I had planned to just let certain people know in private then quietly without drama or fanfare just disappear one day. Alpha actually made the comment that I might want to make a more formal announcement out of respect to y’all that would explain what I am doing and why I am doing it as well as caution you that if anyone attempts to create a new profile for me and hack or social engineer you, you would know a way to reach out to me and confirm that it’s a hoax. For those not familiar with the concept of an “evil twin” attack, you can Google it. It’s a real enough phenomena and I am sure many of you might already have been victim of or to one.

The other thing I found as I was talking to friends was a significant need for them to know and understand WHY. In order not to have to have this repetitive discussion once the announcement is made, I will offer this in way of explanation and reason. It is the second part to my blog post titled: Today’s Tarot Reading from April 2, 2013.

The rest of this week I will be preparing to head to the beach for the yearly large family reunion beach trip. I will be there for two weeks then upon my return (I can’t say which day exactly) I will be deleting these accounts. I want to give those the opportunity who wish to keep in touch the time to exchange contact information with me.

I have deleted Twitter, Google+, and I do not actively use Satannet or Undercroft. I do still have my ToV account and may or may not use it from time to time. You will know it is mine as it will have my extensive post history if you check my profile. Be suspicious of any “new” profile or one that does not have a history but uses my name. I will continue to maintain my blog and post there when I feel the urge or need or desire. I have and will maintain my Pinterest account. I also have and will maintain my Goodreads account. Otherwise, if anyone pops up on any social media site and claims to be me, please make the effort to protect yourself and send me an email to confirm (or if you have my number, a call or text). If for any reason I decide to return to the medium to have social interaction, I will make a formal announcement on my blog.

That all being said, some of my reasons for making the decision to delete Facebook (in addition to the reasons in the Tarot blog post) are:

The bleats of the political herd. On BOTH sides. If I could have a nickel for every gleefully forwarded photo with a cliché or trite accusation or snipe on it, I could buy Facebook and have enough left over for a macho grande triple moo cow Godzilla espresso mocha whipped frappucappucino.

2. Too much shit on the wall. I understand capitalism means you need to make your dollar any way you can. I also understand Facebook is free but at a certain point the annoyance of ads and suggestions are getting intrusive and downright irritating. I didn’t mind so much when you had the ads on the side. I even sucked it up and let the mining of my posts to target me with ads for Lexus and designer handbags as well as athletic gear and such (hey, I actually liked some of those and used them) but when my feed that is supposed to ONLY have my friends in it and those I WANT to hear from begins to insert crap I “might” be interested in every fourth or fifth post AND proceeds to STOP showing me posts of those I do want to hear from…well, damn. When I was a teenager and my mom and dad told the cute boy who called or my best girl friend that I couldn’t come to the phone that was one thing. For you to have the audacity to decide who you think I want to hear from and who I don’t? I want to see the posts from my friends even if I don’t like and comment on each and every one and to use today for an example, to have to see ads disguised as posts for: laundry detergent, a bank loan, a new diet thing, a dress store, fabric softener, clothes from a spring fitness collection, life insurance, McDonald’s, psychic hotlines, Char-broil grills, the new Windows phone, creative writing degrees, something about a house party and food, more laundry ads, etc. (This was just in the space of a few hours this evening). Seriously, it was one thing to have an entire side of my wall full of ads but now you are inserting them into my content and it’s just visually annoying and unwanted. I don’t like pop ups on my other sites, I want to throat punch whoever invented those motion sensor coupon things in the grocery store that make a noise or shout a greeting then shoot a coupon at you when you walk by, and I am really starting to hate this ad clutter on my Facebook. I ditched regular TV and got TiVo and Netflix to avoid commercials and quite frankly when you spend more time and attention to ads in my face than my own privacy….well, fuck you.

3. Do not get me starting on the constant jacking around with my privacy settings.

4. The fact that you allow people to post blood, gore and guts but flip out like an ass puckered dark ages Christian if the slightest curve of beautiful buttock appears or the graceful lines of a breast are posted…well…seriously. I think that is just fucked up. Anyone who says the sawing of a woman’s head off by a Mexican drug lord is spiffy okay but post a single boob and you are persona non grata and banned like the local pedophile at a children’s birthday party shows you might need to consider seeking some mental help.

5. The abuse pictures. I was a cop for six years. I have seen things, SMELLED things in real life that I will never be able to erase from my head. I do not wish to continue to subject myself to MORE horror and trauma. I know it is out there. I know it is terrible. I do not need to see it and I am not so stupid to think that liking that photo is going to save the kitten/grow the child new arms that have been hacked off/donate a dollar to the charity named. I am tired of it. So so so tired. I know, I know…if I don’t like it, “change the channel”. Guess what? I am deleting the channel.

6. The pornographic stuff. I have NO problem with nudity or even erotica. I also have NO problem with pornography and enjoy it. BUT, often when I am on Facebook, my daughter is in the room and I cannot predict when a friend might post a lovely artistic photo of a man entering a woman from behind in full detailed and exquisite glory. While I do not have a problem with my eight year old daughter seeing artistic nudes that are “art”, I am very NOT comfortable with her seeing THAT type of material at this point and age. Several times I have been fortunate that she is not around my screen or near it when one of those pops up but one of these days I won’t be so lucky. I don’t mind them. I like the people who post them so I don’t want to hide their posts. I just have to be a good mom and if that is the sort of thing I have to watch out for, I need to address that. It would be inappropriate for me to complain to you that you need to change what you post or only post it after her bed time. It is my responsibility to deal with it and this is one of the ways to address that as well.

7. The religious shit. I have no problem if my runner girlfriend posts a “my heart is happy when I run with Jesus” picture. She has every right to practice and share her thoughts and pleasures as much as I do. Where I do take issue is when I get attacked for my own beliefs. Threatened and stalked. I know this is not YOUR fault. But if I do not wish to experience this abuse, it’s my responsibility to make it stop. Easiest way? Leave. If I was at a party and being treated like this, I would leave the party. I can block people but then they just create a new account and come back to harass me again. I know how to fix that! I leave. It’s really quite simple. Some may call me a wuss or a pussy but my response to that is: No. I left my abusive husband and I will leave ANY abusive environment I deem no longer of value to me. Call me what you want….but I won’t be around to hear it.

8. The nastiness. I know. Everyone has a right to their opinion. But if I don’t like your opinion or it bothers me, it’s my responsibility to do something about it. Just now someone just posted something that made me stop and pause and think, “Really?” Wow. And people wonder why so many women have self image issues when they are constantly exposed to a barrage of criticism and negativity. Oh, wait. I can do something about that! I can delete it. I am making an active choice to surround myself with people who have the kind of attitude and manners and behavior I like. Simple as that.

9. The game invites. ‘nuff said. You won’t allow me to put a blanket block on ALL invites and I honestly have better things to do with my time than deal with each one and person individually.

1- People who talk like idiots or babies. Yeah. It’s just not funny or cute. To me at least. If others dig that, more power to them. Again, they say if you don’t like it, change the channel. I think I just decided to chuck the whole telly out the window instead.

1- Reading what people post depresses me much of the time. Either due to their ignorance or due to what they appear to be focused on in the grand scheme of things. I find more and more that I just do not resonate with most beyond some shared hobbies. This is not Facebook’s fault. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just a realization I have come to. These are not “my people”. And that’s okay. Sounds like I am breaking up with you, doesn’t it? Maybe it’s a little like that.

One of my mentors once told me I should do what brings me joy. I understand what he meant now and, I am sorry, this just does not bring me joy. I realized this the other day with Alpha. I feel great joy with him. With Thomas. With the friends I have made when we communicate personally. But this social media application brings me ZERO joy. Just a dull feeling. And I deserve more than that. Face it, Facebook, you are like the guy who was really great at first but then he kept changing and we just grew apart. It’s not you, It’s me. Really. I promise. Addendum: tonight, I spent several hours with Scooby on Netflix and three laptops open in front of me and an iPad in my lap with reference material trying to figure out a set of problems Alpha had challenged me with. I was quite happy watching/listening to Scooby with P and picking away at the puzzle I was working on. Happy. I am nowhere near this happy with Facebook. This is how I will be spending my evenings and free time now. Doing things that make me happy.

Things I WILL miss….

The Art of Manliness – But I book marked their web page.

Geeks are Sexy – But I book marked their web page.

George Takei – But I bookmarked his page.

My runners, tri-athletes and lifters. This was the hardest part of the decision. But, I have book marked as many as possible that have blogs and twitter accounts. Including the magazines and professional folks that I truly enjoy reading stuff from. You have all been a tremendous influence and catalyst for change in my life and I appreciate every one of you. Some have no idea how much they inspire me, others I have told. I hope to keep in touch with as many of you as would wish to once I delete this medium.

The CoS folks I have grown close to. But we have all been friends long enough that we keep in touch in other ways than this so it’s all good.

Good recipes/food – but I can get that on Pinterest.

Motivational stuff, quotes and pics – but I can get that on Pinterest

Jokes and geeky humor – but I can get that on Pinterest.

Having my words or opinions picked on – but I can get that on…HAH! That was a trick. Don’t want it, don’t need it.

Making new friends. I didn’t intend to, but I did. I have met some wonderful people out here and this fact was also one of the ones that made it the hardest to make the decision. I have decided that I can keep in touch with my new friends and still make other new ones out there in this big world.

I kind of liked knowing when everyone’s birthdays were. Thank you Facebook for tracking and reminding me of those. I actually DID like that feature. Future apologies to all for forgetting them without my social media secretary to remind me. I have done my best to write them down on my calendar and will do my best to remember.

I liked having an outlet to rant, bitch, complain, or pontificate. But, I will still have my blog so those of you who for some reason like to hear me rant, bitch, complain or pontificate will still be able to have the pleasure.

Bucket List Type of Stuff

I have received a promotion at work and that has levied a new set of responsibilities on my shoulders that include managing an entire team versus just overseeing a few hundred people. In addition to more responsibility task wise, I am also now a “leader” and “mentor”. Because Alpha was such a good example, I intend to honour that and be as amazing as he is with my own people. But, that takes time and attention. I do not work a mere 40 hour week and I spend significant time above and beyond. One of the reasons I am so respected and admired. Additionally, I have just been tapped to join an additional team that travels. So I will be spending some time on the road. Not significant but maybe several weeks out of the year flying to different states and I am also having to do significantly more local travel (within a day’s drive time) so all that adds up on a gal.

This fall will be the last class for my second graduate level program and then I will have my second piece of graduate level paper. In addition to that, Alpha is teaching me two significant things on the side that will contribute to that. They will require certifications that are not easy to pass and not common to have. My spare time in the evenings will be spent reading and researching and practicing that material and I think it best to delete additional distractions from my goal and objective.

Work related, I will be learning two new languages and working towards something with Alpha.

I still have P’s home school and now that she is old enough we have some trips and study opportunities planned including this fall she will be working on classes in robotics and programming, cryptography, and lab science. (Yes, she’s 8) so with those new areas she is interested in, in addition to my own studying at night, I will be helping her work on her robots (she already has a few) and trying to learn along with her so I can help and answer questions. She is also edging precariously close to more advanced math so I have actually started to take a free online Algebra course to refresh myself on that topic.

I have not given up my athleticism and I have my second triathlon in August and my first 8k in October. I plan to do another tri next year and my first 10k and work towards longer tris and longer runs and ultimately complete a half then a full Ironman. I’d love to run the original marathon in Greece and Thomas and I have discussed climbing Mount Fuji and Mount Kilmanjaro with P. Oh, yeah, and continue lifting weights. I have a number goal I wish to reach on squats and bench press and will continue to lift just because I love it. Also plan to start throwing some yoga in (NM got me a gift certificate to take classes with her) to work on flexibility etc.

P and Alpha’s son are buddies now so we will be periodically taking them to the movies and other events so they can hang out together. I will continue to cook and throw parties and be creative. I will post occasional photos on my blog when I do so. I will also continue to write and work on my art, but on my own time at my own speed when I am able to versus feeling like I have a deliverable deadline to meet. I currently have an entire volume of brand new short erotica stories ready to roll, I simply ran out of time at the holiday to get them published for you all. Sorry. Then I also have a novel ¾ of the way done, six other novels in some stage of outline/draft, and a second volume of erotica about half complete. I will get them out when I get them out.

Here is the long and short of it: I love my art and writing and they had/have the potential to bring in some spending cash. Not a ton of money, certainly not enough to live on but a nice little side stash that when I was scared and money was tight due to db’s spending issues, I had decided to push stuff out to make side money to hide from him so it would be there for P’s college. He actually spent the small nest egg we had set aside for her on his car so I knew that no matter what we saved, he’d always find a reason to spend it and promise to replace it later. After the divorce, I had kept with the idea of publishing and some other projects because I felt my own career was topped out. I could not go higher than I was and I honestly sort of felt my life was over and I had wasted my opportunity. A funny thing happened, though. This amazing wonderful man saw all the potential I had and convinced me that it was not “too late”. I didn’t believe him at first but now I do. When we stood in that sunny parking lot a few weeks ago and he said, “You have SO much potential and this is just the beginning of your opportunities” I almost cried. I need to focus on this now because it will be a much better return on investment than the spare change I would get pumping out erotica and books and spiffy t-shirts or tattoo designs on the side. I have real opportunity now and I have to triage my life and step up and take it. If I don’t, I will regret it for the rest of my life. My books, and cookbooks and other stuff are there and will always be there. I can work on them at my leisure and there will be a day when I retire and need some busy stuff to do. At that point in time I will probably have plenty to share if for no other reason than it will keep me busy and entertained to have projects to work on and give me some mad money to spend on blue hair dye or snazzy old lady shoes.

I really appreciate the value I did get from Facebook at one time. And I truly treasure all the friends I have made here. But, as Alpha said to me over our lunch the other day, “Now you will find out who your real friends are. Real friends don’t need Facebook to keep in touch and be together.” I have trusted him so many times. He’s never let me down. So, I will trust him again now. If you wish to keep in touch with me, please contact me via IM and we will make arrangements. Otherwise, book mark my blog, friend me on Pinterest and Goodreads, and please be careful of any imposters or fakes attempting to compromise you in the future.

There is only one Empress. There is only one Josephine Seven.

<3 y’all!

23 May 2013